For fear that I may lose the intrigued following of well-wishers, fabricated stories of heroism and debauchery may begin to materialize within this column. Perhaps a greater fear would be for he who cries wolf.
I guess my job really isn't to create any stories at all, but rather to detail the events of the journey. That in itself isn't a job either, but more of an unlikely side effect of my creativity.
With my health not being of a newsworthy sort, I've been forced to exist an existance aside from work. A life outside of work? My wife thought she'd never see the day.
Up to now, her and I have conconcoted grand schemes of things that our cat does at home alone. We've imagined him galavanting with his friends! We ponder his whereabouts at one-o'clock in the afternoon! Surely he's not just laying around!
The sad truth to it all -
He has no friends. He does not galavant.
There is something to be said for a creature that can sleep more than me at this point. To all of you conspiracy theorists with feline-laden beliefs, get a job.

Admittedly, cats do not seem to be bothered by so much "down time"...